Before I write this blog, I need to give a little background
on two issues with Aaron. First, Aaron
has a very special friend at Paradigm named Rosie. I wrote several blogs about Aaron and Rosie,
and how Aaron was (and is) so happy about their friendship. Yet he also had to figure out the
boyfriend/girlfriend thing, so we had many discussions about that topic. It’s been so sweet and so interesting. I believe that Aaron understands that he and
Rosie are good friends, and that their relationship doesn’t have to be anything
beyond that.
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| Aaron and Rosie |
Here are three links to blogs about Aaron and Rosie.
The other issue to mention is how Aaron views the delicate
word……sex. He knows there’s something
about that word. He has asked us, even
recently, if the word “sex” is a bad word.
We have told him that it is not a bad word at all.
“Then is sexy a bad word?” he asked. And we assure him that “sexy” is not a bad
word. We have given him as much
information as we think he needs, which is very minimal. He never speaks of girls as being sexy or
pretty. He doesn’t turn to look at girls
in a store or on television, but he does know that some things are
inappropriate. Like one night when a
commercial came on with scantily clad girls and Aaron said, “That’s not good
for me, is it Mom?”
Now when we watch Wheel of Fortune and Aaron sees a couple
hug or kiss, he softly says, in his monotone voice, “Sexy.” If a contestant hugs Pat because they won a
trip, Aaron once again says, “Sexy.”
Basically anytime he sees two people hug or kiss, I know that I’ll hear
that deep, monotone voice very matter-of-factly say, “Sexy.” It’s really funny, but I know better than to
make a big deal out of it.
So why am I writing all this? Well, there is a client at Paradigm that
Aaron has known for a long time. I will call
her Jane, though that is not her real name.
Jane is 10 years older than Aaron, and is very caring and kind. Lately she has been extra attentive and nice
to Aaron. She more or less mothers him
in many respects, helping him on days that he is sad or angry. Aaron has had some struggles over the past
few months, so Jane has been there with encouraging words and assurances of her
friendship. She is higher functioning
than Aaron, so that along with being older has made her a nurturing friend to
Aaron.
Aaron thinks that a huge part of his being a friend to
someone involves him giving that person things.
He gave Rosie all the crayons in our house over a period of time because
Rosie loves crayons. He loves to bring
Rosie snacks and drinks and pictures that we sometimes print from the
computer. And money. Aaron has given away money many times, not
only to Rosie but to other friends at Paradigm as well.
So lately Aaron has been buying things for Jane with some of
his spending money while they’re at Paradigm.
Their deepening friendship has prompted Aaron’s giving spirit to be
aimed now at Jane. One day I let Aaron
buy two Gatorade's at Dillon’s on our way to meet his group. When he got to Paradigm and handed one of
the drinks to Jane, she was so happy that she leaned over and gave Aaron a kiss
on the cheek.
Just a little kiss…….but oh, it was not little to
Aaron. It became THE kiss, and quite a
topic of conversation when Aaron burst in the door that evening.
“Mom! I gave Jane a
Gatorade and do you know what she did?”
He waited for me to say that I did not know what she did.
And breathlessly……really……he continued, “She KISSED me on
the cheek!!”
I assured him that Jane was just being nice……that it didn’t
mean anything.
Aaron was not so sure.
“When Jane kissed me, she made me think I’m being sexy.”
Oh dear.
I again said with fake confidence that I was positive that
Jane was just being nice………a friendly kind of nice, you know.
Good grief. How do I
explain this?
“So I’m not being sexy?”
Aaron asked.
No, Aaron. You’re not
being sexy. Jane was just very happy
about her drink and she was thanking you.
She’s just sweet that way.
Deep breath.
Well, days passed……..and every single day, Aaron has talked
about Jane and how nice she is to him. I’ve
talked to Barb at Paradigm, and I understand that Jane is older and wiser than
Aaron……..in a good way, HaHa! And we are
sure that Jane is simply being motherly and kind to Aaron.
On the way to Paradigm yesterday, Aaron started talking once
again about Jane…….and THE kiss.
“Mom, I just wonder……….do I HAVE to be her boyfriend?”
That’s more like the Aaron we know. Deep sigh of relief………I hope.
No, Aaron, you do not HAVE to be Jane’s boyfriend. She just wants to be friends and so you don’t
need to worry.
This statement seemed to please Aaron. I’m not totally sure yet, but I think Aaron
really just wants to be friends as well.
All this boyfriend stuff is too complicated and confusing to Aaron, it
seems.
At least I hope that’s the case.
Aaron being sexy?
Oh dear is putting it mildly!
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