The Scare

This has been a fairly stressful week in several ways.  You may have read my last blog about Aaron's hilarious doctor visit.  It was hilarious because of Aaron's actions and because of his responses to the questions that he was asked.  However, it was not hilarious in the sense that he had us worried for awhile.........and our concern still isn't completely gone.  Aaron has some symptoms that have troubled us for awhile.  Then he developed a rash under his arms.  This is why I took him to the doctor on Monday, but I also discussed his other issues with the PA and the doctor.  They decided to check him for Diabetes.  I was shocked and alarmed.  I hadn't put two and two together, but this diagnosis did indeed seem like a real possibility.

After my early surgeon appointment on Tuesday morning, I rushed home to get Aaron and take him down to the lab at the air base.  He was to have some fasting blood work done.  Aaron had cooperated very well with not eating, which isn't always easy for him.  He does love his food!  As we drove away from the house, Aaron had settled himself in the passenger seat, buckled his seat belt, and then asked about putting in a CD.  "Do you have that cowboy lady and that man?" he asked.  It's amusing, or maybe alarming, that I know exactly what he's talking about.  We put in the correct CD with the cowboy lady (now THAT should be alarming!!) and Aaron proceeded to begin his talking.  First thing was food - "Mom, when I went to Applebees on Saturday I had raspberry tea!"  I asked him if he liked it and he said, "Yes!  It tasted weird!"  Only Aaron would say that he liked something that tasted weird, and only Aaron would look at me like I was weird when I laughed.

Aaron continued his usual monologue as we drove to the air base, finally ending as we pulled into the parking lot with, "Mom, I saw a state trooper one day.  So state troopers control the whole state?"  I briefly tried to explain, but was happy to tell Aaron that we would talk about it later.........because we always do...........and that it was time to go in to the lab.  Aaron was seen right away, and as he sat in the chair, he proceeded to say something to the lab tech about not hurting his arm.  He was referring to the rash under his arm, but she thought he meant something about his veins.  Seeing her confusion, Aaron decided to take his shirt off, which he loves to do in order to show off his rash.  I stepped in to tell Aaron to leave his shirt on, and by now the tech was very concerned.  I briefly explained while she decided to look at Aaron's other arm, which made him want to show her the rash under THAT arm............good grief!  He was going to take his shirt off AGAIN when I firmly told him to leave the shirt ON!!  I reminded Aaron that he knows the blood work routine and to leave his shirt alone and to let them draw blood.........but as I left the small room, another tech stood off to Aaron's other side..........either to intervene if something else crazy happened or to yank Aaron's shirt down if he started to disrobe again.  Dear Aaron.  He is so oblivious to the confusion that he often leaves in his wake.  He just happily sits there and wonders why no one wants to see his rash!

Aaron's PA had told me the day before that the results of this blood work should be ready by Tuesday afternoon.  I waited for her phone call that day, but it never came.  I waited all day Wednesday, but still no call.  On Thursday, I called and left a message with her office, asking her to please call with the results.........and still no call all that day.  By then, I was fighting several emotions..........worry and anger being most pronounced.  I was angry that we weren't being informed quickly of Aaron's results.  And this delay only gave my worry more time to build.  I prayed often during the day and I reminded myself of the principles I know about NOT worrying..........but when it comes to Aaron's health and the possibility of a new diagnosis, that gnawing worm of worry was trying to eat its way into my heart.  Worry and anger..........and in the midst of all this, I was having several imaginary conversations with the PA concerning their total lack of caring!  Certainly none of this was helping, so I transferred my conversations to the Lord and asked for His peace and for good test results..........and talked to friends and family about this need and our desires for their prayers as well. 

Another emotion I was dealing with was guilt.  If Aaron had Diabetes, surely I was largely to blame.  I didn't control his eating like I should, though I tried.........but not hard enough.  Why hadn't I read the signs?  Why did I let him eat candy?  How could I have been so blind?  And then there was blame.  Why didn't the PA last year tell me that Aaron's blood sugars were up.........although that blood test was not a fasting test.  Still, why wasn't it mentioned?  Why did his autism doctor ignore my concerns about his weight loss and vision issues?  Yes, I felt that there was plenty of blame to go around. 

And how on earth would we control Aaron's eating when he wasn't at home?  Bless him, he does love his food!  I thought of the day last week when he burst in the door after his day with Paradigm and I heard him yell, "Hey!  I came home now!"  I laughed as he tromped downstairs to tell me all about his day.  "Mom!  We went to Popeyes!!"  I asked him what he had and he answered, "That number 8 meal!  You know what that is?" 

It always makes me laugh when he thinks that I should know the content of the meal numbers at all the fast food restaurants.  I assured him that I did not know what a Popeyes number 8 meal was, and he was all too happy to tell me.  "It has LOTS of those little chicken nuggets!"  Oh yes, those wonderful little chicken nuggets!  He continued, "It cost seven something.......the staff helped me."  I asked Aaron why the staff helped him with the extra money, and he said, "Because that restaurant came up with tax!"

Oh my, that pesky tax that restaurants come up with!  He went on with telling me that Popeyes is going to start selling seafood, but that this doesn't make sense because Popeyes is a CHICKEN restaurant and CHICKEN restaurants do NOT sell seafood and why are they going to sell seafood in a CHICKEN restaurant............

Aaron and food........what would we do with Diabetes thrown into the mix?  I know that many people with special needs handle this issue and that we would, too, if necessary.  And so I waited for that phone call, which finally came yesterday, on Friday morning.  The nurse told me that Aaron's blood work was very good and that he does NOT have Diabetes.  Such a relief!  I texted everyone to tell them the good news, and I thanked God for this answer to prayer........all the while being reminded that even if Aaron did have Diabetes, I would need to see that as an answer to prayer as well.  God's answers do not always mean that He will agree totally with our request.  If Aaron had Diabetes, then God would have had a reason for that.  I would have had no right to say that God didn't answer my prayers.  He always answers and His answers are always right and beneficial.  This is God's sovereignty in full display, these "no" answers as well as the "yes" answers.

I couldn't wait to tell Aaron this good news as I walked into his room.  "Aaron!  Guess what?  You don't have Diabetes!" 

And his response on this movie Friday at Paradigm?  "CAN I HAVE A LARGE BUTTERED POPCORN??!!"

Oh, Aaron.  See what I mean?  No sign of relief from Aaron as you might expect.  No thankfulness or elation.  Just concern about his next food splurge. 

Sometimes I wish my life was so simple that my main concern was about whether I could have a large buttered popcorn on that day.  Yet I know that God wants me to place my concerns on Him and have that simple faith that says He always hears and He always knows best, no matter the outcome.  Buttered popcorn or not!