A Thankful Moment

I was winding down a long day of cooking on Tuesday night when Aaron came bounding into the kitchen.  “Mom!” he said.  “Will you print off some cheat codes for me on your computer?”

Now the last thing I wanted to do at that point was go down to my computer and start looking up cheat codes with Aaron.  So I pretty well told him that.  But Aaron doesn’t take no for an answer very easily when he’s so set on something as important as cheat codes for his Star Wars Legos game.  I know that about Aaron, and therefore I was soon in my computer chair with Aaron hovering over my shoulder.  He instructed me on what to type in order to arrive at the correct site.  We printed a page but it wasn’t right, so we printed again and thought it was right…..but soon I could see that look on Aaron’s face that told me this looking up cheat codes job wasn’t finished yet.

I was really too tired for this.  I had reached that point of bone tired frustration.  I just leaned over then as Aaron typed in the correct information himself.  Sure enough, there on the screen popped up the precise cheat codes that he needed.  It was just two pages.  I clicked the print icon while Aaron gleefully rubbed his hands together.  He held the two pages with as much delight as if he was holding the title to a new car.  I stapled them together and we were done.  Thankfully done!

“Thanks, Mom!”  Aaron said.  He thumped with his usual loudness up the stairs to the kitchen, while I more or less dragged myself behind him.  There was the counter full of pot and pans and other sundry dishes that wouldn’t fit into the dish washer, waiting on me to dig in and get them washed. 

“Mom!” Aaron turned and said.  “Since you helped me, I’ll help you.  I’ll dry the dishes!”  This unsolicited offer to help was a surprise to me.  He was so sweet about it and so sincere that I wouldn’t dare say no…..even though the temptation was there.  His drying skills are sometimes lacking, while his talking skills never are.  I knew he would be halfway drying and all the way talking.  My bone tiredness wasn’t looking forward to that scene.  But the look on his face and the willingness he showed kept me from refusing his offer.

I told him that of course he could dry the dishes, but he noticed the time then.  Shower time!  So he hurried off to take his shower with the promise that he would return to dry dishes.  And sure enough, he did just that.  After his shower, he stood beside me with the drying towel and dried each dish to some degree.  And he placed them in a stack on top of the stove or on the counter, laughing at how they might fall over and talking all the while about whatever came into his head. 

 

I realized that I wasn’t thinking about how tired I was.  I was enjoying this time with Aaron as he did his part to help.  Then I thought about Pastor Bob’s sermon on Sunday…..how the ten lepers were healed by Jesus, but only one returned to give his thanks to the One Who had healed him so miraculously. 

It would have been expected for Aaron to hurriedly take his shower and then get right back on his Star Wars game, using his brand new cheat codes, without a thought in the world for dirty dishes that needed to be washed and dried.  But he didn’t.  He knew that I was tired and he knew that he could help.  Plus, it was his way of saying thank you to me for printing the cheat codes.

In a sense, Aaron was the one leper who returned to give thanks.  Aaron, who usually only thinks of Aaron, thought of me at that moment.  And he saw a way to say thank you…..a tangible way to express his appreciation to me.  How could I say no to that?  I’m so thankful I didn’t! 

It was another unexpected blessing from Aaron….a side of Aaron not always seen.  We shared some thankfulness that night during this season of being thankful.  It was good for Aaron, and it was especially good for me. 

May I remember to not only BE thankful in every situation, but to allow Aaron the opportunity to also express his thankfulness in the ways that he can. 

Happy THANKSgiving, everyone!   

 

Lessons From the Random Garden Phlox

In our back yard, Gary and I have two flower beds that I haven’t done much with for the past two years.  Plenty of our perennials still grow there, but some have died that I haven’t replaced.  Gary is planning a patio remodel at some point, and knowing that those beds would be downsized or moved caused me to just let them grow as they will.  Our tall Tiger Lilies bloomed out there recently, but now those bright orange blooms are gone. 

This morning I looked outside as I worked at the kitchen sink.  There among the flowerless Tiger Lilies I saw the bright pink blooms of a random Garden Phlox.  The pink was very noticeable now that the lilies weren’t all in bloom.  What a pretty sight that Garden Phlox was as it stood among all the green leaves of the lilies!  The Phlox is shorter than the all those giant lilies surrounding it, but it stands out beautifully because of its bright, pretty flowers.

 

 

As I looked at that Garden Phlox, I thought of a nurse…..a nurse that I have never met and whose name I don’t even know.  Andrea, our daughter, told us about her last night.  Andrea has moved to a new area of the big city in which she lives, so yesterday she had her first appointment to get established with a family practice doctor there.  The doctor’s nurse who worked with Andrea was not only very nice, but Andrea said that she also gave a clear testimony of her relationship with the Lord.  She was definitely born again, a follower of Jesus, so she and Andrea shared that common bond as they talked together.  She then gave Andrea the name of two good churches in the area for her to visit.

This interchange may seem like no big deal, but it was very encouraging to Andrea…..and a huge answer to prayer for Gary and me.  As our two children that have moved far away get established in their new lives, Gary and I pray often that God will protect and lead them.  Part of our prayers for them is that God will bring others into their lives who are believers…..who will be there to encourage and befriend them.  It’s a rough world out there for all of us, but as parents we especially worry about our adult children as they navigate life far away from home and family. 

I just love seeing how God answers prayers in ways we don’t orchestrate at all.  Who would have thought that God would use this nurse to speak her testimony to Andrea, to lift her up in that way, and to give her the names of two churches?  But God knew just where Andrea needed to be yesterday morning.  The first doctor in that group couldn’t see Andrea, so she ended up with another doctor…..who has this nurse….and she was working yesterday when Andrea was there.  Thank you, God!

And thank you, dear nurse, for not being afraid to speak of your relationship with Jesus.  She truly let her light shine, just as Jesus told us to do, so that others will see the Lord in our lives.  This nurse was a huge blessing and an answer to prayers for us…and she may never know it this side of heaven.  But she was just walking in obedience, letting her light shine, and she sure did brighten Andrea’s day and ours as well.

Then I have to think about myself.  Often as I’ve prayed for those who will come alongside our children, I wonder if I might be on the other end of such a prayer.  Could I be the one that God wants to use to answer a mother’s prayer for their child?  Could I be that person who could encourage and bless a person for whom someone is praying?  Am I letting my light shine in the lives of others?  That thought has given me great pause over the years as I’ve prayed for our kids, and now even more so as I think of this nurse…..this random nurse…..who meant so much to our family yesterday in such a seemingly simple way.   

This nurse was like my Garden Phlox showing its beauty among the lilies.  She was a bright spot in Andrea’s day, and she was a bright blessing to Gary and me.  I need to be willing to do the same…..to grow where God has put me and to share the beauty of my relationship to Him because of what He has done for me.  I need to be careful to reach out to ones that God puts in my path, in whatever ways that I can.  Even the simplest acts can be just what a person needs at that moment, and just might be the answer to a parent’s or another’s prayer. 

So may I not let fear or selfishness or lack of caring grow around me so much that I don’t even try to help those who come into my life.  I pray that I will be open to God’s leading and obedient to his command to let my light shine so that others will see God, and thereby be uplifted.  May I shine like my bright pink Garden Phlox amongst all the tall, crowded lilies. 

I’m certainly thankful for that nurse who was a beautiful blessing in our lives yesterday.  May God bless her richly as she shares His beauty with others.

Lessons From the Lone Daisy

We have a flower bed off our front porch that has been a challenge to fill with flowers that will thrive.  It’s a mostly shady area because of our large Golden Rain Tree whose branches provide that shade in abundance.  However, through some pruning of the branches over the years, and some further pruning of a huge bush beside the flower bed, there is now a little more light that comes into that area.  I’ve tried a large variety of plants and flowers over the years in that spot, but even now with a little more sun, finding a plant that will keep growing has been difficult.

This year I decided to plant several flowers in that bed, flowers that are designed to bloom in shade or partial shade.  I’m still not tremendously pleased with how they have done this year.  I’m just not seeing the huge display of blooms all summer that I had hoped to see.  One of the flowers that I chose to plant are Gerbera Daisies.  They bloomed for awhile….at least enough blooms to give me hope…..but now they are just sitting there in the dirt, living but not blooming. 

Except for one that put out a beautiful bloom last week.  It was a perfectly formed, bright pink bloom that caught my eye when I walked outside one morning.  Today the bloom is a little worse for wear, but still pretty in that sea of green.  That flower is a beautiful pink splash that still draws my attention when I look outside.  It doesn’t matter that it’s small……it doesn’t matter that it’s alone……it just matters that at least one of my little Gerbera Daisies decided to bloom and give me some pleasure.  I doubt if anyone driving by our house even notices it, but I do, and I’m thankful for it.

 

That small flower reminds me of something that happened recently.  Someone we know was going through a crisis with a family member.  It’s not who any of you are thinking of…..it was someone else.  J  Anyway, I felt compelled to run to the hospital and pay this dear family a quick visit.  Now I generally pull back from going to the hospital very often.  It’s not because I don’t care but it’s because I always worry about being in the way, showing up at the wrong time, or just not knowing what to say or do that would be helpful.  I do care for these sweet people and I felt like the Lord really wanted me to go, so I got in the van and I drove to the hospital. 

The nurse on the floor helped me find the family.  They were in the family lounge, waiting while a procedure was being done on their loved one.  The Mom, my friend, was so happy to see me.  We hugged, long tender hugs, several times.  She asked me if I wanted to stay, to sit down in a nearby chair, but I said no.  I told them that I just wanted them to know that they are loved and prayed for, and that I wanted to give her a hug conveying that love.  I told them that they are not alone.  I was there less than five minutes…..maybe three minutes.  I felt like they needed time together in that otherwise empty family area…time to let down, to talk to each other, to pray….and so I gave one more hug and I left.

I walked back to the parking garage and drove home wondering if I should have stayed longer.  I wondered if it looked silly for me to make such a quick visit.  Did they think I didn’t care enough to sit down and talk awhile?  Did I come across as uncaring?  So I prayed and I asked the Lord to use that very brief visit to encourage them, the way that I intended, and I tried to quit fretting about it.

I got a text yesterday.  I hesitate to say much because I don’t want to sound like I’m boasting at all, but I want this to be uplifting to each of us.  This mother and friend told me that my visit was the most meaningful to them, and how grateful they were for it.  Now I was the one being encouraged!  And why do I share this?  Because that simple visit was like my Gerbera Daisy in my front flower bed.  That very brief and plain visit turned out to be a splash of loving color in their sad and worried hearts.  I felt like I didn’t accomplish much, but little did I know that God took my small effort and used it as a huge blessing in their lives. 

I bet no solo I ever sang on that podium for all those years touched them like that one small visit.  And I want all of you to know that you don’t have to do big things to be a needed encouragement in someone’s life.  I’m not trying to build myself up…..I want to build each of you up to know that the littlest kindnesses are really huge, especially when God takes them as intended and uses them to touch a life. 

My little lone Gerbera Daisy has given me a smile inwardly every time I have seen it for the past few days.  And your little lone touches in a person’s life can make them smile and give them hope to keep going in ways which you may not even be aware.  We don’t have to stand before hundreds, speak before crowds, write bestselling books, or any of the other multiple things that so often spell success to us.  We just need to give Jesus our simple loaves and fishes, and then watch Him multiply them over and over.  We have no idea of the effect of our prayers in our closet, of a card sent in the mail, of an email of encouragement, of a home cooked meal, of a simple hug, or of a phone call.

You may feel alone or ineffective, but you are never those things when you give to God your simple desires to bless others.  You can be a beautiful splash of color and hope in someone’s life when you do the simplest acts with a loving heart.  Remember the daisy.  It doesn’t matter that it’s alone…..it doesn’t matter that it’s small….it just matters that it decided to bloom and therefore to give me great delight every time I see it.

So bloom today where God has put you.  Look around and see how you can bring pleasure and delight to someone who needs that in their lives right now.  And remember that it’s usually in the smallest, simplest ways that we impart those blessings to others. 

Glittery Moments

My day yesterday, Sunday, began at 4:12….to be precise, like Aaron.  Aaron had a seizure for the second early Sunday in a row.  Then he had another at 5:45, so I just stayed up then, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep.  This is a very busy, tiring time for everyone.  To start my day off so physically tired wasn’t what I had planned, but as usual my thoughts went to Aaron and how awful he was going to feel when he woke up. 

I heard him upstairs through the baby monitor later in the morning, stirring and stretching and then getting out of bed.  I knew that he was marking his wake-up time in his notebook that he uses to record all that important information about his life.  Later he slowly made his way down the stairs.  I noticed that he had on a different pair of pajamas than he had worn to bed, and I knew right away what had happened.  I went up to his room after he and I talked for a minute to gather up his wet linens…..all of them, including his waterproof mattress pad.  Poor Aaron.  Such hard seizures take a toll on him, and can be embarrassing as well.

So the day began in earnest with mounds of laundry and mounds of Christmas preparations and plans to accomplish.  I was thankful for the time that day to prep and plan, but as the day wore on I was very aware of my fatigue…..fatigue that was probably only going to increase as the week continued.

That evening, as I finally cleaned off the kitchen table to some degree, I was looking forward to a little time to chill out.  Catch up on Facebook, look at emails, read the news…..   But of course, I wasn’t downstairs very long before Aaron came thumping down the stairs.  First he talked to Gary about the movie he had finished watching today, and then the current movie he was now watching.  Soon he came to me at my computer, and began the same recitation.  Gary and I finally had to tell him that movie talk needed to stop.  We were depleted when it came to his long movie reviews and endless questions. 

I had told Aaron earlier that maybe we could play a game of SkipBo……emphasis on MAYBE.  As Aaron left me at my computer, the last thing I really wanted to do was to drag myself back upstairs and play a game of cards with Aaron.  I was tired.  And I was very weary of listening to all the movie talk.  But we hadn’t played SkipBo in a while.  This time of year takes much of the fun time away.  I felt badly for Aaron, who asks me every single night of his life to let him know if we can “do something, like SkipBo …..” 

It was around 9:30 when I went upstairs and asked Aaron if he wanted to play a game of SkipBo.  He was very happy to hear me ask that question, so while he took his pills I shuffled the cards.  We had a normal game, with me having to monitor Aaron’s every move in case he cheated and with Aaron thinking he had to monitor my texting with Andrea.  I could feel my nerves getting a little more worn.  Of all nights to have a slow game, this was not the night!  But was it ever a slow game!  Where were all the 3’s?!  I was getting irritated for sure.

Finally the game was over!  I wasn’t nearly as happy about winning as I was happy that I could go to bed at last……after turning off all the Christmas lights, fixing the coffee pot, helping Aaron get his bed all perfectly ready, and listening to his non-stop chatter.  Ugh!  All these thoughts were going through my mind as I put the cards back in their box.  I looked up then to see Aaron sitting very still across the table from me, peering down at something on the table.

“Mom?” he asked.  “What’s this?”  I thought he was pointing to a little indention on our distressed kitchen table that’s become much more distressed under Aaron’s attention.  I brushed him off with a quick “I don’t know.  It’s just a little dot.   A little mark.”

Aaron wasn’t deterred.  “No,” he said.  “It’s sparkling.”

And I knew then what “it” was.  “It” was a tiny little piece of glitter from all the wrapping paper and glittery tissue paper I had used that day.  Of course, Aaron noticed this miniscule piece of glitter that to most of us would have gone totally unseen.  Or seen, but not cared about.

 

Not so with Aaron.  He was intrigued by the tiny sparkle that caught his eye.  He knew that it was worth exploring, so he did.  Furthermore, he hoped that I would do the same.  I was headed to the coffee pot when I stopped and turned around.  There sat Aaron, pointing to the itty bitty glitter, and I was drawn to that scene as I stood there for a few seconds.  I smiled as I realized that I should not miss this moment.  So I walked back over to the table, and I bent over the little glitter particle with Aaron.  We both smiled as we noticed the glitter’s tiny shimmer.  I realized that this glitter wasn’t round, but that it had definite sides.  I counted six sides, and so Aaron and I talked about the fact that this glitter piece was in reality a hexagon.  It was pretty and sparkly and more complex than either of us realized until we took the time to look at it carefully.

All day today I’ve been thinking about that glitter moment with Aaron, and what I would have missed had I dismissed his interest in favor of a coffee pot to fix and Christmas lights to unplug.  I would have missed a sweet moment with Aaron……a time of simple sharing…….a smile……a discovery.

At this time of year, especially, but at any time of year, I need to often remind myself to stop my fussing and flittering……and to take some time to see what Aaron sees.  Take some time to see who Aaron IS.  See the world through his eyes, with all its complexity and its beauty.

And to apply this lesson to so many other areas of my life as well.  Stop to see what’s around me that’s not so obvious, lest I miss out on some real beauty and some sweet moments.  Don’t let my schedule or my tiredness rob me of discovering some sweet moments with those I love…..or with those whom I need to know better…..or with those that I can help. 

Coffee pots and other chores will always be there.  Glitter has a way of blowing in the wind and never being seen again.  I need to treasure it while I can……with Aaron, of course.

 

Sharing Aaron

Share:  to partake of, experience, or enjoy with others.

Aaron, for some unknown reason, has been in a sharing mood lately.  It’s encouraging to Gary and me to see positive traits such as this in Aaron.  Anytime he thinks of others beyond himself, besides slapping them on the back or making a rude remark about them, makes us surprised and thankful.  His sharing of late has come in the form of bringing us little portions of his special snacks.  A couple cashews here, a few gummy bears there, a piece of gum thrown in the mix……it’s all been part of his sharing frame of mind recently.  Never mind that we are often fearful of actually putting any food item that Aaron brings us in our mouths.  We just never know where those hands of his have been, if you know what I mean.  According to our scientist daughter, being exposed to germs helps to build our immune systems.  Therefore, Gary and I should never be sick again in our natural lifetime. 

There are other forms of sharing that go on with Aaron, as well.  During supper a few days ago, Aaron told us about the song “YMCA” and how he had heard it on the radio in his day group van.  Aaron liked this song and he wanted to tell us all about it, and to ask lots of questions about it.  I noticed that Gary was on his phone and in just a few moments he held his phone up for Aaron to see and to listen…..to The Village People singing “YMCA.”  I just stopped eating and watched this scene.  Gary held his phone for Aaron as he watched Aaron’s reaction to the song and to the antics of The Village People as they did all the funny motions.  I watched Aaron’s face, too, but also Gary’s as I enjoyed the pure delight brought on by this simple moment.  Soon Gary pulled up another group, wanting to watch Aaron’s face when he told him to guess the name of this next group…..The Monkees!  Aaron laughed and we laughed as we both enjoyed the look of more delight on Aaron’s face.  “Yeah, yeah, we’re the Monkees…….”  

We were sharing Aaron…..and it was so much fun.

On Saturday afternoon, while Gary was immersed in being our IT man and working on my computer, I asked Aaron if he wanted to go out with me to do a little shopping.  He stood in the bathroom while I fixed my hair, hovering, thinking that his hovering would make me hurry and we could get this show on the road.  Soon he was coughing.  “You made my breath feel strong because of hair spray!” he sputtered.  That’s when he decided to wait for me downstairs.

Aaron’s all about shopping, always hoping that he’ll come home with some treat or item that’s just for him.  On the way to Big Lots, he asked, “Mom, is it about clothes?”  I assured him that this trip wasn’t about clothes, and he was able to relax then.  He helped me look at seasonal rugs, and then off we headed for Petco, where I told him I wanted to look for dog bed covers for Jackson……no rugs at Petco for me….and no clothes. 

We struck gold before we even got in the store, because there in the parking lot was a couple with a cart full of four amazingly adorable Mastiff puppies.  Aaron headed straight for them and they gladly let him pet their puppies.  Once in the store, Aaron had to show me the fish….the hamsters….the gerbils….the various birds….the ferret…..   I commented on how much the ferret cage smelled, so as we left the store, Aaron took it upon himself to stop at the front counter.  He didn’t care that there were people standing in line.  He stopped and informed the cashier that his mom said the ferret stunk, as he laughed and rubbed his hands together, and everyone stared at him…..and mom told Aaron to come on as she walked out the door like nothing at all was unusual.   Sharing Aaron…..

We ran into Bed, Bath, and Beyond….which Aaron confused with Bath and Body Works, so he was hoping it didn’t stink like all those things do in that store.  He didn’t mind the ferret but he thinks Bath and Body Works stinks?  Anyway, we found nothing in BBB, so I told him we would go to Kohl’s next…..and I didn’t tell him it has clothes.  We talked about fall, and I told him that I like this time of year and the colors of the trees.  “Yeah,” Aaron said.  “They don’t have leafs.” 

There were no rugs in Kohl’s, but Aaron found the coolest spider soap dispenser ever.  I would have hurried right by it, but not Aaron.  “Mom!!” he exclaimed loudly.  “Look at this!”  Others looked, too……sharing Aaron.

I suggested that we look inside Ross, right next door to Kohl’s, so Aaron gladly trotted along beside me…..ready to explore a new store.  It only took a second for him to see the hanging skeleton just inside the door…..and you know the rest.  We finally made it to the rug aisle, and looked at several styles and colors.  I would unfold one and look at it……put it back on the shelf and unfold another one……several times.  Aaron was about done with this silly rug business.  “Mom, you can’t make up your decision with rugs!” he said with a small measure of patience.  So I quickly made up my decision…..the one with dots, as Aaron described it, and we went to stand in the check-out line.

There were several customers in front of us on this busy Saturday.  While standing there, Aaron found a bag of gummy bears that I agreed to buy him.  He held his gummy bear bag but he was observing everything around him, as always.  At one of the counters there stood a man making his purchases…..a man with a very modern Mohawk hair cut…..and I should have seen it coming.

“Look at that guy’s hairdo!” Aaron broadcasted loudly.  The young lady in front of us turned and smiled while I smiled back, and also while I told Aaron to please try hard to whisper……but to try even harder not to comment on people…..in any way, shape, or form.  Please!  Not in ANY way, shape, or form whatsoever!  Sharing Aaron…..

We were finally driving home, rug and Aaron in tow…..and I was so thankful that either Aaron didn’t notice the other Mohawk hairdo man coming in the door as we left…..or he just decided that he would listen to Mom for a change and not comment.  Probably the former.  Anyway, as I drove Aaron said, “Mom, sometimes Brian at Paradigm does this.”  And I looked over to see Aaron comically trying to make his facial muscles move.  “And flaps his ears!” Aaron finished.   I laughed at the thought of flapping ears, which made Aaron very happy.  Sharing Aaron…..

Later that night, as I sat at my desk doing some things, I heard Aaron coming up the stairs.  Without saying a word, he plopped down several gummy bears for me.  I thanked him while determining in my mind if I should eat them, but Aaron walked away and I was saved from that decision for the moment.  But in just a minute I once again heard him coming upstairs, where he put even more gummy bears on my desk…..and walked out quickly.  Down the stairs he went…..and wouldn’t you know, soon he was headed back up.  He walked in my room again, but this time he didn’t leave me any gummy bears.  Instead he reached down and took some off my personal pile of gummies, smiled, and started out the door.

“Are those for dad?” I guessed.  And he said they were for Dad, and thumped down two sets of stairs to give his gummy gift to Dad.  Aaron sharing….

I looked down at my remaining gummy bears and saw three soft bears there on my desk calendar.  Three bears…..Aaron, Gary, and me, I thought.  How perfect! 

Gary and I, sharing life and sharing Aaron.

And Aaron, sharing with us…..more than just gummy bears.  Sharing his unique way of living, in many different ways, shapes, and forms.