Two weeks ago, Gary and I were finishing the last
leg of our drive to West Virginia as we traveled home for my mother’s
funeral. Has it just been barely over
two weeks ago that she breathed her last breath? So much has been packed into this short time
that it seems like she left us much longer ago.
That’s how my mother lived her life, though. Like my brother said at her funeral, Mom
squeezed every bit of opportunity out of each day that she lived. So much was packed into her life…..so much
that will impact so many for eternity.
As Bob and Jan, and John and Jeanie, planned Mom’s
funeral, they incorporated two very sweet and personal elements into the
service. Jeanie asked each of the
grandchildren to write down their memories of their grandmother. At her funeral, Jimmy read every word that
had been written. It was a very moving
and sometimes humorous part of the service.
Then Jan asked each of us to bring our quilts that Mom had made us. Each hand stitched quilt that we brought was
hung over the railings at the front of the church, adding a beautiful
background as we remembered our mother.
Something really stood out to me as I listened to
the grandchildren’s memories being read.
It’s the same thing that I noticed during her visitation at the funeral
home the night before her funeral. That
night, we stood in line for nearly three hours as person after person hugged us
and told us of what our mother had meant to them. Most of their stories were fairly simple. It wasn’t that Mom had done earth shattering
acts of great note. She wasn’t
interviewed by the newspapers, seen on television, or given big awards for her
acts of kindness.
So what did people talk to us about as they shared
my mother’s impact on their lives? It
was her service to them, her love, expressed in so many ways. It was meals she cooked, her home she opened
to so many, stockings she knitted, clothes she sewed, miniature roses she
delivered in Cracker Barrel syrup bottles, boiled custard that she cooked
because a friend loved it, sending out missionary prayer letters, making dozens
of quilts for others, and so much more.
It was her great sense of humor….her ability to
lighten any situation with an attitude of light heartedness that was often
amazing. It was her word fitly spoken to
so many, especially to those who had messed up and made poor decisions. She comforted without judging, and extended
help where others might have looked the other way. Story after story we have heard since Mom died. What a balm to our hurting hearts!
The grandchildren’s memories were more of the same,
on a more personal level. Again, what is
striking is that no one mentioned my mother’s education or her job. Not that this isn’t important, because it
certainly was a great accomplishment for her to have a Master’s degree and to
have a supervisory position with the State Board of Education. Yet with all of her educational goals that
she met and with her very responsible job, my mother maintained our home and
our family in an incredible way.
It was, again, the seemingly small acts that all
the grandchildren remembered the most.
Guess what was mentioned most often by her grandchildren? It was the Cheerios that she kept in the
coffee table drawer in the living room.
So many of them talked about that memory and of how much fun it was to
go to their house, pull out that drawer as a little child, and eat as many
Cheerios as they wanted. Other memories
were of the toys, the laughter, sitting on the front porch, all the play time
in the yard, her cooking, gardening, sewing, and her unconditional love. It was how she filled her home with joy and
filled their lives with personal touches for each grandchild.
In her memories of her grandmother, Andrea wrote, “I
remember how she patiently showed me how she pinned her fabric together in
preparation to sew her gorgeous quilts by hand.” As I sat in the church during mother’s
funeral service, I looked at the quilts that we had hung on those
railings. Each one is full of hundreds
of fabric pieces, placed together in way that makes a gorgeous design. When you step back and look at the finished
project, you see how each piece combines to make a perfectly beautiful work of
art.
So it is with the life that Mom lived. Each act of love that was remembered and many
that have been forgotten, have all fit together to produce a beautiful
life. It’s the handiwork of God in our
mother’s life that has blessed and profited so many of us over the 88 years
that she lived. Her life was a pattern
that I want to follow. A pattern of
service and kindness that means more to people that any public acclaim ever
will or could produce.
Like she so often sang:
I’d rather have Jesus than men’s
applause.
I’d rather be faithful to His dear
cause.
I’d rather have Jesus than world wide
things
I’d rather be true to His holy name.
I’ll be learning lessons from the design of my
mother’s life for the rest of mine, I’m sure.
Perfectly penned as always Patty.
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