I’m thinking of my dad today for some very special
reasons. It’s been 6 ½ years since he
went to heaven after fighting cancer for 8 years. Dad was the one of the godliest men I have
ever known. He was so kind, selfless,
and loving. He was firm in his faith,
never wavering through all the ups and downs of life, including his two bouts
with cancer which finally took his life.
Yet despite his strong faith and his deep trust in the Lord, Dad seemed
to have a great fear of death.
None of us looks forward to dying, so on many levels
we could understand his dread. As he
weakened and the end was coming nearer, he still seemed to struggle more and
more with his uncertainties. Finally one
evening my brother John spent some time alone with Dad, talking to Dad about
what was on his heart. It was during
this conversation that John was able to gently lead Dad to really express his
concerns about dying. One of Dad’s
biggest issues was that he wondered what he would say to Jesus when he first
saw Him. We all just smiled and shook
our heads when we heard that. There he
was again, not worried about his own pain but instead concerned about what he
would say to his Lord. And how like Dad
that was! He was always the ultimate
planner and organizer, so for him to face this uncertain encounter with no plan
or idea of what it would be like was very hard for him to handle. Plus it very much showed his humility as he
felt completely unworthy to stand before Jesus.
Something else that was heavy on my Dad’s heart was
the fact that he would be leaving my mother.
They had been inseparable during the 22 years of retirement they had
enjoyed together. Then when dad was put
in a hospital bed, Mom slept in their bed right beside him and they held hands
through the rails. Dad knew that Mom was
really showing the signs of Alzheimer’s in ways that we hadn’t seen. He kept trying to find ways to tell us about
it without Mom hearing him because he was so worried about what she would do
when he was gone, and he wouldn’t be there to help her. Part of his letting go was hearing our words
of assurance that Mom would be cared for and that he didn’t need to worry about
her.
But it wasn’t just that Dad was burdened about leaving
Mom alone. It was also that he was very
concerned, almost fearful, of him being without her in heaven. He was so close to her, so dependent on her
in many ways, that the thought of being without her……even in heaven…..was
nearly unbearable to him. So on the
night that John talked to Dad, he told Dad to remember that God said a thousand
years to Him is but a day. John said,
“Dad, I really believe that when you go to heaven it’s going to be like you
blink a couple times and then Mom will be right there with you.”
I don’t know that anything comforted Dad more than those
words and that thought. Later that
night, as Mom and I sat with him in their family room, he very softly and
slowly shared that thought with us…..and he sweetly smiled as he said it. His soft, gentle smile….full of the hope that
the separation from his Beth wouldn’t be so long after all. We all know it was that night when Dad felt
released to go on to heaven. He knew
that everything would be all right, and that Mom would join him in the blink of
an eye. Several days later he left this
earth for heaven.
I’m thinking of my Dad today, and definitely my mom,
for another very special reason. Today my
mother also left this earth for heaven.
She and Dad are finally together, whole and healthy at last! I can’t imagine the joy they’re both
experiencing right now to be with Jesus, and to be together for eternity. Jan told me that Mom opened her eyes, eyes
that had been shut for days. It was as
if she saw something. Then she closed
her mouth, closed her eyes, and was gone.
Did she see heaven? Did she see
Dad, grinning from ear to ear? Did she
see her Savior? What precious and
awesome thoughts those are!
So while we cry at having to say goodbye to our last
parent, we can’t help but smile and be so happy for her and for Dad. Oh my goodness, I would love to have seen
that reunion! Someday we’ll join them
there, and we’ll have so much joy and so much fun. But until then, while we will sometimes weep
and we will often miss them both, we can smile at God’s sweet goodness and
rejoice over the certain hope we have of life together in heaven.
Hey Mom, you and Dad have a great time up there!
When we all get there, I do hope the Lord lets us sing
“Oh, It Rained, Rained, Rained” again, just to torment dad.
We’ll all see you in a couple blinks of an eye.
Patty now you have me crying
ReplyDeleteLove ya
Patty now you have me crying
ReplyDeleteLove ya
Praise the Lord for His BLESSED ASSURANCE of our future!
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