It was
almost two years ago that I first wrote about Aaron and his special friend,
Rosie. Since then I have written several
more times about their very special friendship.
Aaron and Rosie continue to have a sweet relationship......one that we
can't quite define but one that is unique to them. Aaron is kind to Rosie, at least as far as we
know. He still likes to take Rosie things,
and to share food or money with her. We've been working with him to come up with
other ideas of items to take to Rosie....things like pictures from the movie
Cars that we print from the computer, or baby carrots instead of chips, or
apples instead of Nutty Bars. Just the
other day, after cleaning out a drawer in what used to be our home school room,
I found three crayons. Aaron was very
happy to take those three crayons to Rosie the next day.......because Rosie
loves crayons. And Aaron has already taken
her every crayon that we own.....or so we thought. I think these last three should be it!
We've met
Rosie's parents and we've talked some about their friendship. We're all very delighted for them to have
each other. We don't want to discourage
them in any way, but I believe I can safely say that we just want them to
remain as special friends. Aaron,
though, has been observing some things and connecting some dots. Some days I feel like the ice we're stepping
on may be getting a little thin.
Some of his
comments are funny.....like the night we went to watch the Fourth of July
fireworks. The next day, Aaron said,
"Mom, I saw a boyfriend and a girlfriend last night." I asked him how he knew that they were
boyfriend and girlfriend, and he replied, "Well, they were acting
strange." He couldn't describe to
me what he meant by that statement, and I was trying like everything to
remember who was sitting near us and how they were acting........but all I
could come up with was a cute couple who sat near us and who were sweetly
snuggling some. To Aaron that was
strange? Maybe that's really a good
thing for him to think that way, right?
One evening
as he and I walked around our circle,
Aaron once again mentioned Rosie.
He seemed burdened as he mentioned her and then again as he said
something about whether or not he was her boyfriend. I asked him if he wanted to be her boyfriend
and he answered, "Well......kind of.
But then I have to think about marriage and that's hard."
I nearly
stopped dead in my tracks as my mind was swirling, trying to think of what to
say to him that would neither condemn nor condone this new word he was
saying.......GULP!!........marriage!! He continued.
"Was it hard for you and Dad to think about marriage?" I mean, how do you answer that question to
this boy/man who is trying to figure out all this relationship stuff? I
stumbled through something about how it's hard to know that you should marry
this person, and is this person the right one, and that being friends is great,
and I don't know what else I said.........and
Aaron asked what I meant.........and I just said it's very hard to
explain. So, yes, it's very hard to
think about marriage. When we got home,
I much-more-calmly-than-I-felt sat down and talked to Gary about it. He just shook his head and looked as helpless
as I felt.
Aaron
doesn't even understand what marriage really means. He just knows that when two people, like Mom
and Dad, became good friends.........and then even better friends.........and
then very good friends......that they got married. Connect the dots......one, two, three,
four.....
Today Aaron
was giving me his usual run-down of his day.....where they went and what he ate
and what he did. He told me that Rosie
was sitting beside him in the van.
Aaron's voice got very soft as he said, "Mom, do you know what
Rosie did?" Then Aaron leaned down
toward me as I sat in my computer chair.
He reached for my hand and I nearly flinched, because Aaron loves to
take our hands and roughly squeeze them.
But I didn't move as Aaron very gently took my hand and held it. "Rosie did this," he said as he
continued to sweetly hold my hand.......like a couple would do. Oh my.
It was a tender moment, but I knew that it was really a tender moment
between Aaron and Rosie, just being demonstrated to good old Mom.
"Did
you like that, Aaron?" I softly asked him. "Yeah," he softly answered. And that was it. He soon lumbered upstairs to change clothes
and start his evening. I sat still for a
minute, transfixed over that moment......how sweet it was, how
tender........and how much it says about Rosie and Aaron. Holding hands was not lost on Aaron. It meant something to him, deeply......not
physically but even deeper, in his heart.
We don't want to dismiss that for Aaron.
I don't think we could if we tried.
We love this joy that he and Rosie seem to have together - this special
bond that they share.
I have a
feeling, though, that when Andrea or Andrew get married someday..........we're
gonna have a whole lot of questions to answer from Aaron as he connects even
more dots. I never dreamed this would
ever be a concern for us with Aaron, but here we are..........maybe.
I still
think God sent an instruction manual with Aaron, surely. I just wish I hadn't misplaced it.
How sweet, and yet because of his disability there will be so many questions and not be able to fulfill a parent's dream of love, marriage and children for Aaron. Thank you for sharing this with us, Patty
ReplyDeleteThanks, Beth!
ReplyDelete