The Spitting Farmer

So now that you've read the title, I may as well just get on with the story.  Last night Aaron and I were playing Skip-Bo.  He was doing his usual........eating..........talking..........and trying to cheat whenever my eyes turned away for more than 5 seconds.  I can control the eating.........I am keeping baggies of sliced cucumbers in the frig  as a healthier snack option.  Of course, he must have a bowl into which he dumps the cucumbers..........he will NOT eat out of the baggie - but at least he's eating cucumbers and not Skittles.

I can also control the cheating by not letting my eyes stray onto my tablet or phone, or by not leaving the table.  Even then, I have to be very alert.  Aaron is a quick cheater.  I like to think of him as being very smart instead of being a very big cheat.  I am his mother, you know.

As for the talking - we have yet to find a way to control the talking.  A captive audience is Aaron's favorite, and since I can't leave the table when playing Skip-Bo with Aaron, I am a captive.

As I sat there, captivated by his non-stop chatter in his mostly monotone voice, I was captively listening to his usual talk of his day and his friends and his activities and his food choices and his games, etc., etc., and etc.
Then he said it.

"Mom, Dad caught me doing something and he made me stop."

He paused as he often does, for effect.  I was bracing myself for what Aaron might have been doing that Dad had to make him stop doing..........and wondering why Gary had not told me about this thing that Aaron was doing that he had to stop doing.

Then Aaron finished with, "I was trying to be a farmer and spit on the steps."

Those of you who know me, or who have read my blog for awhile, know that I often withhold laughter in front of Aaron when it means that I am laughing at Aaron.  I don't want to make Aaron feel bad for being laughed at, or I don't want to encourage poor behavior by laughing in front of Aaron.  I try to wait until the time that I can laugh behind his back.  However, there are those times that withholding my laughter is very unhealthy for me..........and last night was one of those times.  I chose my good health and I laughed.  I laughed very loudly........while Aaron blandly went on with his Skip-Bo move and his monotone talking.

He then demonstrated the way that he tried to spit........minus the spit, thankfully.........but the little ppfftting sound he made was even more hilarious.  Oh my goodness!  Now I have some questions about this behavior on several levels.

Number One:  Why does Aaron think that farmers spit?

Number Two:  If Aaron wants to emulate a farmer, why didn't Aaron instead put a piece of hay in his mouth from the "hay barrels", as Aaron calls them, like farmers routinely do.  Right?

Number Three:  Why didn't Aaron say that he tried to spit like a baseball player?  Baseball players spit!  A lot!

Number Four:  Since when do farmers......or even baseball players.......spit on steps?  Carpeted steps?

I helped Aaron carry his coffee up to his room this morning.  As we walked up the steps, with Aaron behind me, he said, "Mom, this is where I tried to spit on the steps."  I quickly looked down, glad that I had on shoes.  I reaffirmed to him that he should never spit on the steps..........and knowing Aaron, he should never spit anywhere.

I have also decided that it's been way too long since I vacuumed those stairs.  Maybe all the dirt on the carpet confused Aaron and brought out his spitting instincts.

Don't try to call for several minutes.  I can't hear the phone over the vacuum.