Unto The Least: A Man Named Richard

I remember him so well.  Richard……….nondescript, uneducated, stinky, and often unwelcome Richard.  Our paths crossed because Richard attended the same church where I grew up and where I worshipped.  Our paths also crossed because God ordained it to be so.  God ordained it to be so………so that I would learn a lesson.   It was a lesson best taught by the method that God loves to use – the weak things of the world confounding the mighty. 

Richard was a very short little man.  I often think that he was our version of Zaccheaus there in Princeton, West Virginia where I was raised.  Richard didn’t have much education and he was also very simple minded.  Today I’m sure he would be classified as being developmentally delayed, at the very least.  Yet he had served our country in World War 2, returning to Princeton when his time was up.  I remember hearing the story of how Richard wanted to help build the parsonage for our pastor at Johnston Chapel Baptist Church.  The men decided that Richard could dig the sidewalk, and so they used twine and little posts to outline the walkway that Richard should dig.  As Richard dug, his shovel cut the twine and it veered off to the side……..and Richard continued to follow the twine with his digging.  I’m not sure if the men let Richard dig anymore after that or if they found another safer job for him to do. 

I remember Mom and Dad loading us five kids into the old station wagon and then leaving for church.  We never missed a service unless we had a fever or were throwing up, or maybe if blood was involved.  This was in the day of services every Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night, and anything in between.  This was also in the day of revival services that lasted at least a week, and sometimes longer if the Spirit led.  There were mission conferences, too, as well as other special services thrown in here and there.  The Kings did not miss church.  If Dad was working, then Mom loaded the station wagon and off we went. 

I loved going to church, but I always dreaded that drive up Thorn Street because often we would see him………..Richard, standing on one of the corners of Thorn Street, not far from his house.  Richard, standing there waiting for a ride to church from one of the church members that he knew would drive by in our little town and see him, and offer him that ride.  Richard, whom I was sure never, ever, ever took a bath.   The smell was just awful!  We kids would strain our necks to look ahead to see if he was still standing there, hoping against hope that some other family had come by before us and picked Richard up.  If we saw him, we would beg Mom or Dad not to stop for him………..to let someone else have that privilege on this day. 

But no……..Mom and Dad would always stop for Richard.  He would hop in our already crowded car and immediately we would be assaulted by that odor.  We girls learned a trick.  We would take a small purse-size container of perfume and try to hide it in our hand as we held it up to our nose.  Or at least have some perfume on our wrists that we could sniff in the hopes of blocking out that smell.  I’m not sure what John did to combat the odor but at that point it was each King for himself.   If no one was able to give Richard a ride, then he would walk to church, regardless of the weather……and that was probably a five mile walk.

Richard would talk, talk, talk.  He had a very fast, clipped speech.  I can still hear him make a comment and then say, “Isn’t that right?  Huh?  Isn’t that right?”  Then he would laugh and launch into something else, and ask again if that was right.  If he wasn’t talking, he was making a clicking sound with his tongue, as if he was getting food out from between his teeth.  He probably was, since I also doubted that Richard ever, ever brushed his teeth……….which just added to his unique smell. 

At church, Richard would lean up on the pew in front of him and talk to whomever was sitting there.  His eyes would dart between the people as he rapidly talked, and clicked his tongue, and laughed, and said, “Isn’t that right?   Huh?  Isn’t that right?”  The large church helped to spread his odor out some and keep it from being as strong……….unless you were the fortunate ones who were sitting in front of him and with whom he decided to engage in his mostly one-sided conversation.   Needless to say, when I was older and had the opportunity to sit in front of Richard……….I tried to find another seat.

Richard, though, was good at math.  I remember how that always surprised me.  On Wednesday nights, four men would count certain sections of church and then give the number to the pastor out loud as they were called upon to do so.  Richard almost always added those numbers faster in his head than Preacher Jimmie could do on paper, and he was usually right.  Amazing indeed!  And also amazing was the fact that Richard loved the Lord in his own simple way and was one of the most faithful church members that I have ever known.    I don’t remember seeing Richard carry a Bible and don’t know if he could read, but he knew his Bible.

Time marched on.  We King kids grew up, went to college, married and had our own lives.  Mom and Dad both eventually retired from their jobs.  They continued to be active at Johnston Chapel, enjoying the freedom to spend more time visiting the sick and those who were shut-ins.  Among those that they cared for, none stood out more to me than their continued care of Richard.  He had aged, of course, and time had taken a toll.  Richard was not only feebler, but was also dealing with the ravages of cancer.

I know that others helped with Richard, too, but Mom and Dad did a great deal for him in his old age.  They helped him find a better house to move into, and then helped him move his meager belongings.  They were shocked at what they found as they cleaned his house.  Such filth was hard for them to imagine!  And there in his closets and throughout his house were stacks of Christmas presents that church friends had given him over the years, still wrapped and unopened.   Inside were clothes and toiletries that he surely could have used over the years, but when questioned about it Richard said that he didn’t open them because he didn’t need anything.  Mom and Dad bought him clean clothes and new things, but Richard still preferred his old belongings and his old way of living.  Mom would take him home-cooked food and encourage him to eat better than he was.  She and Dad bought him a small refrigerator to keep his food from spoiling, but Richard refused to plug it in because he didn’t want to waste electricity. 

Dad helped Richard obtain his VA benefits, and then made sure that Richard started going to the proper doctors at the VA hospital.  He took Richard for many of his doctor appointments.  This was no easy task in many ways, but none more so than just the pure embarrassment of being in a public waiting room and doctor’s office with poor smelly Richard.  Mom and Dad tried countless times to teach Richard and to urge Richard to use better hygiene, but I don’t know that Richard ever took it to heart.  Dad would explain things to the doctor, but the people around them that they encountered must have wondered about Richard and about Dad.  Eventually Richard’s cancer became more complicated than what the local VA hospital could handle, so Dad took him to the nearest major VA hospital………..in Richmond……….a six hour trip one way.  Twelve hours confined in a car with Richard, as well as the time at the doctor appointments.  The smell……..the constant talking……….the clicking tongue.   Yet Dad just smiled and did what he knew that God would want him to do………..to take care of this little unwanted and unwelcome man. 

When Dad tried to see if Richard qualified for any other assistance such as Medicaid, it was discovered that Richard had money.  In fact, he had too much money to qualify for any government help.  Richard never offered to give Mom and Dad, or anyone else, any money for the things they did for him.  They wouldn’t have taken the money anyway.   That was not the motive.  A brother that no one knew about showed up at Richard’s death, and Mom and Dad walked quietly away from any further involvement……..but not before they gave Richard one of their burial plots since he didn’t have anywhere to be buried.

Mom and Dad didn’t want any public acclaim for what they did for Richard.  They just loved the Lord and they let the Lord’s love fill their hearts and direct their actions.  I know at times their service to Richard was tiring, was frustrating, was annoying, and very thankless.  Yet Mom and Dad, and the others who served Richard, did so because they lived out their faith and they believed Jesus when He said, “When you do it unto the least of these, you do it unto me.” 

 

Dad is with Richard in heaven now.   I sometimes try to imagine it, the two of them together up there.  Both have new bodies and are totally equal physically and mentally.  Did they hug when they saw each other?  Are they ever beside each other as they sing and as they worship?  Richard doesn’t smell anymore and Dad doesn’t have to explain him to anybody, or be embarrassed.  I wonder if Richard still talks fast, and does Dad still smile patiently at him?  I doubt it, but it’s fun to think about. 

And we kids are left with not only memories, but more importantly, we are left with a real example of selflessness that my parents demonstrated.  They loved the unlovely in more than word…………they loved also in deed.  I know that each of us has taken this lesson to heart in our own lives in various ways.  But I doubt that anyone could be any more kind and any more patient than my sweet parents were to Richard.

I can’t wait to see Richard in heaven!  I’ll give him a hug……….and no perfume bottle needed!

Aaron Rates Politics

Aaron does not have a political bone in his body.  He doesn't understand politics nor does he care to understand politics.  He's probably better off that way.   Of course, since there is so much on the news now about the presidential campaign, he can't help but notice.  And if Aaron notices something, he will talk about it.........which all of you who read this blog know very well.  Aaron talks and I blog.  It's never-ending!

Last night Aaron was in the family room during part of the GOP convention.  It was time for good old back tickling with the back scratcher.  Ann Romney had just begun her speech when we sat down.  Aaron wanted to talk, as usual, but I told him that I wanted to listen to this speech.  Aaron tried to be quiet, which is very hard for him to do.  As Mrs. Romney spoke, Aaron began making comments.  I have learned that when someone is giving a speech or is performing in some way, such as singing...........and if these people are animated with their voices or their facial expressions............then it drives Aaron nuts.  He seems to want people to be calm......flat......inexpressive........unemotional..........boring.

A political rally is not calm......flat......inexpressive.......unemotional.......boring.  Therefore, Aaron was becoming agitated.  He began muttering softly at first, but as Mrs. Romney's speech progressed, so did Aaron's comments.

"She's dumb!"    Aaron, she is not dumb.  Ann Romney is very smart.

"She's stupid!"    Aaron, she is not stupid.  Don't say those things.

"She's crazy!"    Aaron, you do not call anyone crazy.

"Tell her to shut up!"   OK, Aaron!  That's enough!

I tried to get him to express to me just what his frustrations were, but he had a hard time with that - as always.  And then Chris Christie came on.  If Aaron thought that Ann Romney was crazy, he definitely believed that Christie was even crazier.  Oh boy...........here we go!

The comments started and so I stopped Aaron in his tracks.  He just listened for a short time, trying to figure all this speech stuff out.  Then he said, "It seems like they make up stories to make themselves BE one!"

How interesting!  I asked, "They want to make themselves be what, Aaron?"

He answered, "They want to make themselves look cool!"

Our very perceptive Aaron.  Whatever we believe about politics, every politician is trying to sell themselves.......and Aaron gets it.  And Aaron doesn't like it - any more than we sometimes dislike this whole process of politics.

Aaron continued to watch.  Christie's name came up on the screen.............Chris Christie (R).   Aaron looked at his name and saw the (R) - then asked, "What's the (R) for?"  I told him that it stood for Republican.

Aaron's response..........."Oh, I thought he was rated R!"

HaHaHa!   Maybe this whole convention should be rated R...........at least for Aaron.  I'm sure he wouldn't mind one bit if we restricted him from having to watch any more of it at all!

All of us probably wish that certain areas of politics could be restricted!  Aaron may have come up with something!

Car Salesmen

Aaron was walking through the family room the other night.  We had a football game on the television, but at this time there was yet another annoying local car commercial playing.  Aaron doesn't like yelling.........which is quite a mystery, since he doesn't seem to mind his own yelling.

Aaron paused, turned toward the TV, and after a few seconds he said (with disgust), "That car salesman is a yell mouth!!"

And once again, Aaron has nailed it.

I Love Him!!

I took Aaron to the lab this morning for his routine blood work that he needed to have done before his Epilepsy check-up in a couple weeks.  Aaron knows the routine well...........and so do I.  As I check him in at the front desk, I am amazed as always that the receptionist doesn't know how to pronounce any of his meds.  Seriously..........can she not even sound it out?  Oh well - I have other things on my mind as I gently oversee Aaron and his curiosity as we stand there waiting for her to figure out her pronunciations.  He loves the green Indian mask kleenex holder.......the one where the kleenex is coming out of the mask's nose.  This is right up Aaron's alley, believe me!  But he also has to pick up the little rubber bear and the hand sanitizer and a pen that is laying there.........as I watch to be sure he doesn't slip the coveted pen into his pocket.  I know his tricks!

The waiting room was empty, which is always a blessing...........so we were able to head straight back and let Aaron sit in the chair.  He stuck his arm out.........the arm with his watch pushed halfway up to his elbow.  And I wonder what the tech thought of that watch...........and what she thought of the funny mouth noises Aaron makes...........and I realized that we are also blessed by the fact that Aaron has never been bothered by needles and tests.  He watches her carefully as she prepares the vials and then steps away to do something.......and I watch Aaron carefully as his eyes roam over the very interesting table right beside him, full of all the vials and the tourniquets and so many other interesting things......things that he will pick up to examine if I don't keep an eagle eye on his every move.  She returns, and he watches every part of the process of having his blood drawn.  He rarely even flinches when the needle enters his vein, and he keeps a curious eye on each move that she makes as his blood is removed.

Soon we were on our way, and on this particular morning I told Aaron that we would go up the road to Wal-Mart.  Happy, happy Aaron!  He talked the whole way about this and that, as he always does, but was especially excited to tell me about a car he had seen the day before.  "Mom!  I saw a car yesterday with TWO policemen beside it.  It didn't look like there was a wreck, but the car's LID was popped up!"  So we talked about why car lids sometimes pop up and why the police were there............as we walked into Wal-Mart and Aaron waved at the outdoor cameras as he always does.  Good morning, security guards!  Smile!

This was a trip for junk food, I will admit.  This made Aaron even happier, of course.  I told him to choose a drink and of course he said, "Can I have beer?"  He says this a lot, and he always laughs, and if I don't laugh then he will repeat it until I do.......so I laugh and he chooses his flavored tea and off we go to the chip and candy aisle.  He carefully mulled over the selections, knowing that Mom has limits, and after choosing some Twizzlers he suddenly turned and said, "Mom, can I buy Dad something?  I love him!"  I wonder if the shock showed on my face.  Aaron rarely, rarely, offers up such sentiment.........and without being prodded or reminded...........this was totally spontaneous from him.  This was a proud moment for me and I was hoping that the other shoppers nearby heard my son as he wanted to buy his Dad something............his dad whom he LOVED!!  I have lots of moments with Aaron when we are out in public...........embarrassing moments and frustrating moments and tense moments.........but not very many truly proud moments.  Of course, I was hoping that these same shoppers didn't hear Aaron asking if he could have beer or hear him talking about how he likes to make funny comments about the women's bras.  Let me have my ONE proud moment, OK?!

We went over to the beef jerky aisle as I looked for something that Gary would like in the line of meat or trail mix.......not candy for Gary.  Aaron looked over the selection quickly as he was in a hurry to go to the DVD aisle and being loving to Dad was taking a little more time than he wanted.  "Mom, does Dad like beef and jerky?"  And Aaron was off in a trot to look at DVDs as I chose something............straight from Aaron's heart........but this is something else that we understand about our Aaron.

We looked at DVDs and Aaron had to rush over to ask the sales clerk for help even as I told him not to bother her.  This happens every time that we are in any store.  I wonder if the sales clerks all know Aaron and dread his arrival.  Oh well.........I thanked her and once again told Aaron he didn't need to bother her.  We chose a cheap DVD..........Chuck Norris - hopefully full of excitement but good values.  Soon we had paid and were heading out the door, where Aaron just HAD to stop at the ice machine.  There was a repairman on a ladder, with his head stuck in the open door of the machine and Aaron asked him if the machine was broken.  I wanted to be sarcastic and tell Aaron no, that this man was just trying to cool his head.......but Aaron doesn't get sarcasm so I just smiled and hoped that nice man didn't mind answering a silly question.

Soon we were home again, home again.  Aaron made sure he grabbed the bag with his DVD first and then helped carry in a couple more.  He ran downstairs to show Gary his new movie, and then ran back down to take him his turkey sausage rolls.  Then it was up to his room, where he turned on his fans and put on his headphones and began whatever it was he wanted to do on his computer.

I will probably hide the Nutty Bars, knowing that if I don't then they may all disappear by day's end.  I will have to delegate the Twizzlers, if I can stay ahead of Aaron on that.  And I will think of the blessings of life with Aaron on this day............not that he had to go to the lab, which is a stark reminder of his Epilepsy and of seizures............but that he actually enjoys the lab and that he loves a simple trip to Wal-Mart and that he's not embarrassed to be seen with his mom.  And that I actually had a moment where I was not embarrassed by something Aaron said but was PROUD!!!

Little does Aaron know how many times I say to myself, "Can I do something for Aaron?  I love him!"

Lessons From the Dry Times

I was tired of looking at them……….the dried up remnants of my once bright and beautiful flowers in my two little flower beds off the back patio.  The extreme summer drought and heat had taken its toll on my flowers and had turned their former glory into black ugliness.  Long gone were the cheery yellows of the Black-Eyed Susans; the pretty pink of the Coneflowers; the stunning orange of the Tiger Lilies; and the soft purple of the Garden Phlox.  It was time to do some trimming………trimming that is usually left until autumn but was necessary now, in August.

 

Taking my pruning shears and my garden gloves, I headed outside and was soon filling up my pop-up container with the dry, dusty remains of my flowers.  As I clipped, I wondered if any of these perennials would return next spring, even as I noticed places that were already bare – where death had already sunk deep into the roots and destroyed the visible plants as well.  Two summers of severe dryness and burning sun had indeed claimed many flowers and trees and vegetables.  Even with what watering we did, nothing could replace refreshing rain and kinder, cooler temperatures. 

My garden shoes crunched over the brittle mulch as I bent over to cut away the deadness.  And as I clipped the useless remnants of my flowers, I noticed that even in the seemingly lifeless garden, some creatures and plants continued to live.  Here and there were weeds……..a chickweed growing against the brick border……….a clump of crab grass nestled in the dry mulch.  How do weeds manage to live even in the midst of such drought?  Around me I saw grasshoppers lunging up as I disturbed their hiding places.  As if my struggling flowers needed any other detriments to their growth, I thought.  Those ugly grasshoppers would eat any remaining life out of these poor flowers for sure.    The life that I was seeing in my flower garden was not the kind that I wanted to see at all!

Yet as my shears stripped away the dull remains of my flowers, I saw some color.  There, nestled amidst the blackness, was the welcome sight of a yellow Black-Eyed Susan; a bright pink little Coneflower; a softer pink Garden Phlox.  They were both a reminder of what had once been and the hope of what could very possibly come again next spring.   Dryness and death doesn’t have to be the norm, I thought.  There is always hope that the rains will come again; that the sun will be kinder; that replanting or reseeding can occur.  In the meantime, here and there a flower still grew, and the purpose of these seemingly dead plants was evident in the midst of awful circumstances. 

I’ve experienced dry times in my life.  We all have those seasons…………or will have if we live long enough.  Prolonged stresses and disappointments just suck the life and the beauty out of our very souls.  Days are long and nights are longer.  The heat of our worries and trials beats us down, blacken our outlook, and steal our joy.  There seems to be no evident end in sight………no welcome rain cloud to provide moisture or to shield us from the sun’s burning rays.  And in our weakest moments, we see weeds sprouting up around us………..weeds of worry, of bitterness, of anger, of blame, of defeat.  Or the hopping grasshoppers of our thought life, hopping to this conclusion or to that decision that is not in God’s plan for us at all. 

David experienced these desert seasons as he ran from King Saul.  Here was the future king of Israel, appointed by God, yet hiding in caves and running for his life.  He was falsely accused, thrust out, tormented, and unwanted – with no end in sight to his suffering.  In Psalm 63, David poured out his heart:  “O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly; My soul thirsts for you; my flesh yearns for You, In a dry and weary land where there is no water.”  What did David do in that dry and weary land in which he found himself?  Did he worry, complain, become bitter, or throw a royal fit?  No!  He sought God earnestly – and not for what God could do for him, but because of WHO God is.  He thirsted and yearned for God, “……to see Your power and Your glory.”

How did David seek God?  “Because Your loving kindness (grace) is better than life, My lips will praise You. So I will bless You as long as I live;  I will lift up my hands in Your Name.”  (Psalm 63:3-4)   David took action!  He didn’t sit there and allow ugly weeds or grasshoppers to clutter his soul.  He used his lips to praise God and he lifted his hands in worship of God.   He opened the way for God’s beauty to fill his being even in the midst of a dry desert and a dark cave.  Just as my little blooming flowers shone in my ugly flower bed, so David’s praise and worship was a shining light in his own heart and to those around him…………a light to reveal the great God Who loves us and delights in our praise even in the dry seasons of our lives…………..ESPECIALLY in those dry seasons!

It’s up to us…………..will it be ugly weeds and destructive grasshoppers?  Or will we lift our hands in worship and open our mouths in praise in the middle of the heat and dryness of our prolonged trials?     (Psalm 63:5)

How Funny?

What a difference a day makes!  Aaron has been very happy today.  He and I have both laughed at some of his antics, and I've laughed at some of the things he has said.  I don't know if it's good night's sleep he had; the seizure he had at 2:30 this morning that rearranged some of those neurons; looking forward to his trip to the mall today and the food fest that usually occurs; or a change in the weather that's on the way............but he's been happy and lots of fun this morning.

It began when I went into his room to get him out of bed...........and his bed was empty.  He hasn't played this trick in awhile, but I know what an empty bed and closed door usually means.  It means that Aaron is hiding from me, just like a kid would do.  It didn't take me long to figure out that he was hiding in his closet because the door was slightly ajar...........and Aaron never allows the door to be partly open, even a crack.  So I opened the door and there he was, laying on the floor like someone in a crime scene.  He was very droll about this unusual sight of a grown man crammed into a little closet, laying on the floor, but he was also very pleased with himself for his brilliant hiding place.

He successfully drank his coffee outside as he sat in the mulch doing his "mulch thing."  No spills today on his white shirt.  Yay!  Then on the way to meet his group, he said, "Mom, it was funny that I fell yesterday when I spilled my coffee."

No, Aaron, it wasn't funny.  It was scary that you fell.

And he said, "Well, it was half funny then!"

There he goes with that half business again, which makes him totally funny to me...........and I laughed and he wondered what I thought was so funny as I patted his leg.............and told him that HE'S the funny one.  No response, as usual, to that comment.

Talk then went to policemen and I have no idea why.  "Mom, there are different kinds of policemen, right?"

Right, Aaron.  "Well, which one is it that's the country cop?"

The country cop?  So as I dropped Aaron off I'm still not sure if the country cop is the state policeman or the sheriff...............because Aaron hasn't quite figured this out yet.

And as usual, I'm trying to figure Aaron out as well as country cops.  I have the whole day ahead to do this!  And that's a good thing.

Throw ON the Towel!

Here we go again.  I heard it from upstairs.......the sound of the plastic containers full of coffee hitting the floor and then the thump.  My heart sank as I hurried downstairs to check on Aaron.  He was fine, although sprawled on the floor with spilled coffee all around him.   He jerked and dropped his coffee yet again.........lukewarm coffee, thankfully.  And thankfully he didn't throw his coffee containers as he has been known to do when he's in a rage. This was a true accident, but messy and discouraging none the less.

I was frustrated with Aaron this morning over a couple things already and this didn't help, believe me.  My compassion for him still hasn't quite kicked in yet.  He has cleaned up and showered, and seems to be fine.  I hope he's not bruised.

I just stood and looked at this mess.........coffee all over the floor, the cabinets, on and under the frig.  UGH!  And I thought of how many times I've just felt like throwing in the towel.  We all do, don't we, whether we are parents or not.  But we can't quit.  God doesn't and we can't.  Especially as parents..........these children are given to us by God and He wants us to hang in there despite how tough it sometimes is.

So instead of throwing IN the towel, we throw ON a towel.  We clean the messes up step by step, bit by bit. We'll see progress one day, even if it's slow to come............even when we just stand there and don't know where to start.  God gives patience; and God gives us the same grace toward our children or others that He has extended to us.  We clean up the messes, whatever they may be, and we push forward.

The rest of the day is before us.  It's up to me now not to mess up my reactions and my attitudes.  I'll need to grab another towel if I'm not careful!

It's All About Me

A very unpleasant and unattractive trait of Asperger's Syndrome is the tendency to be very egocentric.  Dear old Aaron shows this side of himself every single day............some days and some situations more than others.  His inability to manage his emotions and his self-focus can be extremely frustrating at times.

Mom!  I'm hungry!
Mom!  I'm tired!
Mom!  I'm bored!
Mom!  I'm sleepy!
Mom!  I'm curious!
Mom!  I'm awake!
Mom!  I'm cold!
Mom!  I'm hot!

It can be wearying sometimes for Gary and I.  We often try to bring Aaron's attention to the needs of others and to how someone other than himself is feeling.  Aaron is rarely affected by this attempt...........but when he does show concern for others, and especially for Gary or me, it certainly does touch our hearts.  I've written about that when I talked about the hug he gave me one night when I was sick or the bandaid he brought me when I hurt myself.  Those moments are all the more precious to us because we know that they come from a place deep inside Aaron that we rarely see.

Last night we did not see a very caring attitude.  I had come upstairs to get ready for bed.  Aaron got very excited about a video from You Tube that he wanted to show me.  Even though I was tired, I agreed to watch the video, which was an old music video of Billy Joel's song Uptown Girl.  Aaron loves this song and he was as tickled as he could be to share this video with me.  He giggled and clapped and kept turning to look at my reaction as we watched this video.  He really was hilarious with his reaction and I was laughing along with him, but not for the same reasons that he was laughing.  We even watched another video of a second song.  It was a fun way to end our day.

Just as Aaron turned the video off, Gary came up the stairs...........also very tired and walking slowly because of his aching back.  Of course, Aaron wanted to show Dad the Uptown Girl video and of course Gary just really wanted to go to bed.  But Gary came back to Aaron's room and stood there through the whole video, aching back and all, enjoying the moment with us and laughing as I did at Aaron's delighted reaction.  Then it was time for goodnights and sleep well and love you, Aaron..............except not for Aaron, who wanted Dad to also watch that second video.  But Gary said no, and explained that it was late, even as I was telling Aaron that Dad's back really was hurting and that he needed to go on to bed.

Aaron didn't care at all about our tiredness, or the lateness of the hour, and certainly not about the fact that his Dad's back was hurting.  His full focus was on that second video that he wanted Gary to watch.  We went on our way to our bedroom, but I came out later to answer a question of Aaron's and found that he was escalating upwards in his anger.  According to Aaron, Dad didn't care and Dad was mean...........even as I calmly reminded Aaron that Dad had watched the video that Aaron really wanted to show him and that Dad had laughed and that Dad had answered Aaron's questions about the video............yet none of this mattered to Aaron.  He was focused on what Dad had NOT done instead of what he HAD done.

Then I explained to Aaron that Dad's back was hurting and that he needed to lay down, but Aaron actually said these words, "Why should I care?"  As I reminded Aaron of who had upgraded his computer recently and who had gotten him a new chair and who had done this and done that for him..........I could see Aaron softening a little but still being belligerent because his immediate desire had not been fulfilled.  His selfishness was on full display, ugly as it was, but in Aaron's unfiltered world it was out there for all to see.

This whole scene reminds me so starkly of my relationship to the Lord.  How self-serving and demanding I can sometimes be with the One Who loves me so much!  God gives me blessing after blessing, but how often do I focus on what I don't have or on what I perceive as unanswered prayer?  How many times do I not stop to thank Him for what He has done in so many areas of my life personally or in this world in general?  Do I praise Him and acknowledge His faithfulness and His power and His love?  Or do I whine and complain and stay self-focused?  God has dealt with me over the years about these very issues........about the importance of praise and worship in my prayer life.........of seeking His will in my requests and not my own will...........of the attitude of gratefulness that we are reminded of so often in scripture.

Even as we try to patiently understand and continually work with Aaron on being less "it's all about me", so I know that God looks down in love on Patty and must sigh at my self-centeredness.  When I see Him in that light, I feel like His child for sure and I am very thankful that He is a long suffering and loving Father to me.

We'll keep working with Aaron.............and God will keep working with us.

Sign Your Name, Aaron

Aaron was in the second grade in the American school on our military post in Germany when he came home one day and pulled a paper out of his pocket.  I never knew what he would pull out of those pockets of his, so a simple piece of folded paper made me feel very relieved.  He handed it to me and as I unfolded it, I saw that he had written his name……..in cursive.  I was pleased, yes, but also very surprised because I knew that the teacher wasn’t allowing her students to learn cursive until the second semester.  It was still autumn and far from the time for Aaron to “officially” learn cursive. 

I asked him about this and asked him why he had his name written in cursive.  He replied, “I was bored so I taught myself cursive.”   Inside, I was smiling proudly, even as outwardly I asked him why he was bored and how he had managed to teach himself cursive.  He told me that he just looked at the sample cursive letters on the wall and started writing, even as the class was going over something for the umpteenth time that he already knew and was not the least bit interested in.  Is it any wonder that we started home schooling the next year?

Aaron’s writing now, at the age of 27, is very similar to his first self-taught writing skills.  He writes very much like an elementary student……….but he does write and he is fairly adept at spelling, too.  I guess his favorite thing to still write, after all these years, is his name.  I’ve found his name written in all sorts of places………….walls, furniture, books, his skin.  You get the idea. 

  

When he was in the school system here after he turned 16, he had to sign his name on all sorts of official papers and reports, such as IEP meetings.  Now he still places his signature on the paperwork we sign yearly for his BASIS assessments and PCSP papers, as well as some store receipts.   We never know how Aaron is going to sign something.  Here is a normal signature when he was having a mellow day.

On this signature he decided to have some flair and try to be fancy.

Notice the date beside this signature and what he wrote beside it.  He was in a holiday mood for sure!  So funny!

I wish I had his signature as he has also written it……………where he would sign his name and then add his favorite description of himself.  It came out like this – Aaron Moore... is cool!  I loved that one and wish I had a copy of it.

What also makes us smile is that when we tell Aaron to sign something personal, like a birthday card, he does indeed sign it…………with his “official” signature.  When I told him to sign Gary’s birthday card and to label the envelope, this is what we ended up with:

Nothing personal………….not even the word “love”………….unless we mention it.  In Aaron’s black and white world, when you tell him to sign something, he signs it…….with his full signature.  And puts Dad’s name on the card…………his legal name…………not “Dad.”

Warm and fuzzy Aaron, right?  That would be Aaron Moore to you and me and the rest of the world, thank you. 

RIGID Potato Chips

I know I sound like a broken record..........very similar to Aaron, actually...........but I tell you, Aaron notices everything.  The tiniest details of the world around him rarely escape his attention.  And then he talks about what he has observed.  He also never seems to tire of noticing the same things over and over again, and talking about them over and over again.

For instance, I know that when we drive by the pasture near our house, Aaron will always look for the cows.  He will often ask if the cows are out and if they're not out, then where are they?  He will also ask who we think the cows belong to?  The man in the white house or someone else?  A couple miles on up the road we always pass another field on our way to meet Aaron's day group.  This field has big black bulls who sometimes are grazing where we can see them as we drive by.  Aaron is fascinated by the bulls.  One day we had an interesting conversation about the purpose of bulls.  Ahem.  He did NOT seem to notice how quickly I glossed over that answer!  Anyway, nearly every day as we drive by that field, Aaron will wonder if the bulls are out and if they're not out..........and they often are not in sight...........he wonders where they are, and why they aren't out, and where do they stay.  Recently we drove by the field and there they were, close to the fence, grazing happily.  Aaron exclaimed, "There's the bulls!  They're out of that farm cage thing!"

Um, Aaron, that's a pasture..............not a bull zoo.

On up the road we pass a dentist's office.  Aaron loves their concrete parking barriers.  Why does he love those particular concrete barriers?  Because they are painted in stripes!  They stand out to Aaron as unique and he loves anything unique.  And how many times have I heard him say, "There they are, Mom!  Candy canes!!"

He notices the old car that's always parked in some one's driveway every day.  He's fascinated with RVs.............."Mom are they expensive because they're portable houses?"  And yesterday he excitedly said, "Mom, guess what I saw on the way home?  I saw an RV towing its OWN car!  Is it OK for an RV to tow its own car?!"  I try to explain these important matters to him, even as I'm distracted with supper preparations or some other chore........and he won't leave until he's satisfied with my answer.  Therefore, I know that I need to do my best to answer him or to explain things, or he will stay there until I do.  Or until I tell him to Google it!

Yesterday he was very enthused as he told me about the fun thing that someone made at Paradigm using Chex cereal and chocolate and this and that.........but he couldn't remember what it was called.  I told him it sounded like Puppy Chow and he said, "Yes!  That's it!  And it was all covered with confectionate sugar!"  So I showed him some confectioner's sugar, which he thought was wonderful, and then as he pointed out the white marks all over his shorts, he said, "That confectionate sugar is spready!"

Yep, Aaron...........looks like to me you spread it all over your shorts.

But he wasn't through with the rundown of his meal at Paradigm.  "Mom, I ate some mustard potato salad.  And then I had some of those potato chips.........you know, those RIGID potato chips!"

Ah, yes, ridged potato chips!

"Yeah.  I don't like RIGID potato chips!"

What?!  You don't like potato chips with ridges?

"No.  They look like they have speed bumps that are on the road."

I would never, ever have thought that the ridges on potato chips look like speed bumps on the road.  But Aaron does..........because Aaron notices every RIGID ridge on those ridged chips.............and he notices every speed bump...........and he notices that they are very much alike.

Amazing!

Ruffles Have RIGID Speed Bumps!!  Buy some today!  But slow down and watch your teeth!

Leave Me Alone!

Aaron's been hard to rouse out of bed for the past several days.  I keep the monitor on at night and haven't heard any seizures so I don't think it's seizure related.  Maybe he's staying up too late reading at night.  Or maybe it's because we take his keyboard away at night and so he doesn't have the excitement of a game to wake up to each morning.

He also wakes up talking about very tired he is.  Last week he said, "Mom, I slipped out of bed at 6:17."

You slipped out of bed?    "Yes!  I was on the edge and then I just slipped out!"  I asked him if his sheets were slippery but he didn't react to that like others might have.  Sometimes I think I'm quite funny but Aaron rarely thinks I'm quite funny..........which I also find to be quite funny, actually.  His lack of reaction to my jokes really is hilarious sometimes.

Back to his slipping out of bed..............I said, "So you mean that you FELL out of bed?"

"Yeah, I slipped out of bed.  Have you ever slipped out of bed?"  Well, Aaron, I have slipped out of bed but not the way that you slipped out of bed.  I actually slipped out of bed whereas you actually fell out of bed, obviously, etc., etc., etc.  I had this conversation with myself, by the way - not with Aaron.  He would not have valued it like I did, believe me.

This morning he was snug under his covers and did not appreciate my efforts to get him up.  I was kind; I was soft spoken; I didn't linger long or have many words............in other words, I did everything possible to ease him into this cruel reality that he was going to have to get out of bed. When I have to go in and wake him up, he's often grouchy.  When he gets up on his own terms then he's usually in a better mood.    Finally, I walked past his bedroom and on my way downstairs I simply told him that I was going to pour his coffee and get him a bowl of his favorite applesauce.  Soon I heard him laboring down the stairs and as he walked into the kitchen, I tried to ignore him and be unaffected by his grouchy face.  It's better to be low-key when Aaron is grumpy.  I fixed his applesauce, laid out his comics, and poured his coffee...........all while listening to him tell me once again about how tired he was and that he didn't want to be bothered.

OK, Aaron, I'm going back upstairs to finish getting ready.  Off I went, knowing that he wanted to be alone............or at least ACTED like he wanted to be alone.  He polished off his applesauce quickly, and soon I heard him laboring back up the stairs.  And Aaron, who wanted to be left alone and not to be bothered because he was so tired, walked into my bathroom where I was getting ready.  He was carrying his coffee, which he carefully placed on the bathroom counter.  He sat down beside his coffee, getting settled and comfortable in the room with the person that he didn't want to be around, according to him.  He sat there looking at me as I just ignored him and kept getting ready.  I didn't say a word.  He slurped some coffee.  He wiggled into an even more comfy position.  He slurped some more coffee.  He watched me closely and I just kept quiet, not acknowledging him in any way.

Finally he broke the silence and said, "I wish you would just leave me alone."

Seriously, Aaron?  So why did YOU come up the stairs and why did YOU come in my bathroom and why did YOU sit down here and why did YOU settle here to slurp your coffee...........but you wish that I would leave YOU alone?  Oh, never mind.  Another conversation with myself!  I talk to myself a lot around Aaron, and he doesn't even know it.

The fact is, he doesn't really want to be left alone and ignored, no matter how much he tries to act like he does.   Leave me alone, Mom............but don't really leave me alone.  Don't really ignore me.

And as he showed me once again this morning, even when I'm really trying to ignore him, he won't let me!  He can't verbalize like you and I can, but he does manage to get his message across.

I can get my message across, too.  Tomorrow I may just show him what it means to be PUSHED out of bed!

Am I Getting Muscles?

Those of you who have followed Aaron for a long time know that he talks a lot about his weight.  He makes many comments about losing weight, such as, "Mom, am I losing weight?"...........even as he's cramming his fifth croissant roll into his mouth from the stash he bought at Wal-Mart.  Or, "Mom, have I lost weight?"..........as he turns to look sideways in the mirror.  Or one of my favorites:  "Mom, am I halfway losing weight?"  Many of us adopted that statement as our mantra when I first publicized it............we're all halfway losing weight!!

Aaron does love to eat, though, like most of us do - and so his desire to lose weight is offset by his desire to eat.  He makes excuses for what he eats, like the time I made Rice Krispie treats and he asked if he could have one.  Before I knew it, he was walking across the kitchen with a huge stuck-together Rice Krispie treat square.  "Wait a minute, Aaron!" I declared.  "What on earth are you doing?"   And he replied, "Mom, I was just trying to pull one off and it did this!"

So you couldn't correct what it did, Aaron?  How convenient!

Or the time the staff at his day group fixed burritos and Aaron was excited to tell me all about it.  "Mom!  Today they fixed burritos!  They did this thing that if you ate one then you could have another one!"

Really, Aaron?  How many did you have?  He answered, very flatly, "I had four."  FOUR?  You had FOUR burritos?  Good grief!

Then another meal at Paradigm featured some garlic cheese bread on the side.  Of course, we heard his assessment of that when he got home.  "Mom, we had some mushy bread at Paradigm today.  It had garlic and cheese on it."  I told him that this bread sounded yummy despite the fact that he thought it was mushy.  He said, "Well, I didn't like that mushy bread but I ate a bunch of it."

Why does he eat a bunch of something he doesn't like anyway?!

Aaron is specific about his food, such as when I was serving him some mashed potatoes.  "Mom, I want the gravy INSIDE the potatoes."  It's funny how well I understand him............kind of scary, too.

So this morning Aaron strolled into my bathroom as I fixed my hair.  He had just showered and I was not prepared to see him walk in wearing only his underwear.  Modesty is not his strong point, no matter how often we stress that is should be.  As I said, "Well, Aaron!" ...........and he was totally unaffected by my exclamation...........I realized that he was on a mission.  I assumed we were about to have another "am I losing weight?" conversation, when instead he said, "Mom?  Am I getting muscles?"  He then bent his arm and flexed his muscles, and stood there waiting for my answer.

How on earth do I not laugh out loud when my grown son is standing there in his favorite striped briefs, flexing his arm and asking me if he has muscles?  Well, I did laugh and he smiled but still waited for my answer as he continued:  "Am I getting strong?  I wanted your opinion."  I had no idea that Aaron ever thought about the manly trait of being strong.  I'm still wondering where this all came from.

In the meantime, Aaron, you want my opinion?   Yes, you are getting strong.  That's why I had you carry the big bag of dog food out to the van for me on Saturday.  He was pleased with that answer, even as I was coming to grips with this new side of my boy who is really a man.

You want another opinion?  Please put your shorts on.......your carpenter shorts!  Spare me the sight of you flexing your muscles standing there in your underwear.

It's enough to make me lose weight, and not just halfway!

Answering the Question

Aaron asks lots of questions.  Some questions he asks over and over again, and we know that he will continue to ask them over and over again as long as the sun rises and sets.  Sometimes Aaron wants to talk things to death, on and on and on.  Yet when it comes to most of the questions he asks us, he simply wants a simple answer.  Concise and to the point.  Gary and I know this, but do we always follow what we know?  Of course not!  But Aaron will remind us, that's for sure!

Yesterday Aaron was anxious to play a game on the computer.  We had taken the keyboard away for awhile as we do every day, and had also taken that particular game away because of behaviors the night before.  Aaron went outside to ask Gary if he could have the keyboard back and the answer was yes.  But then Aaron asked if he could have that particular game back, and the answer wasn't so simple.

Gary wanted to emphasize to Aaron once again the reason we had taken the game away............what we expected from him if we gave him the game back............and several other points that were well worth making - except that Aaron was totally uninterested in this long answer.  He quickly became lost in all the words even as he tried to focus and to listen.  I heard Aaron take advantage of several pauses in Gary's answer to ask again, "But Dad, can I play that game?"  And still the answer continued.  I listened, knowing exactly where Aaron was going mentally with all of this.

Finally Aaron had heard enough and he burst out, "Dad!  You're not answering my question the way that I'm asking it!!"

Once again Aaron yanked us back to reality and made us smile.  How many times do we do that, I wondered, whether with Aaron or with others?  And I know there are times that I wish I had the freedom to blurt that statement out to someone who is not answering my question the way that I asked it!!

I won't say that to Aaron, though, because so often in his random answers to our questions we learn so much about what makes his amazing mind function the way that it does.

Coming Up For Air

This is the time of year when many moms and dads are experiencing what Gary and I have gone through this week - saying goodbye to an adult child who is going to college or moving away for a job or has gotten married or any number of other scenarios.  Our daughter, Andrea, was accepted into the graduate program at the University of North Texas Health Sciences Center and will pursue her master's.............and probably PhD..........in Forensic Genetics.  Can you tell that we're proud of her?  She has been so patient to wait on God's timing for this big decision, and in the past six months He definitely opened some amazing doors in order for her to move in this direction now.

But she is still our little girl in our hearts in many ways, even as we've seen her mature and assume major responsibilities over the past few years.  She went straight from college into a job as an EMT in an inner city emergency room, handling all sorts of traumas and stresses with her quiet strength.  Then she spent a calmer year as an assistant to a Sports Medicine doctor in a normal clinic setting.  And for the past six months, she worked as a Microbiologist in a pharmaceutical lab.  All of these experiences helped confirm to her what she felt like God wanted her to do.........which was none of the above!  Her acceptance into grad school came at just the right time in very many ways, and we are all very pleased and thankful.

It was still heart wrenching to drive away from her this past week and watch her walk back to her apartment while we traveled back home without her.  She has lived an hour away for the past six months, and that was good preparation for her and for us.  But now she's far enough away that those weekend visits won't happen like they used to.  Distance and the demands of school will make our visits far fewer and farther between than we've ever had before.  I know that we appreciate technology now, too, more than we ever have before!  She and her brother Andrew are only a text or a Skype session away.........but still............

All this leaving business leaves me drained.........fragile.........unbalanced.  And very emotional.  But truly, as I knew it would, the feelings are becoming easier to manage.  I remember when Andrew left for college.  For his first year, he was only 40 miles away but as I said goodbye to him I cried as if I was leaving him in Alaska.  He awkwardly patted me as we hugged and he said, "Uh, Mom.......I'm only 40 miles away."  Kids just don't understand a mother's heart!  I smile now, and I so remember the actual physical dizziness I felt for several days after he left.  When our children leave, we seem to lose part of our purpose and our routine, and the hole left in our heart makes it hard to stand up straight and breathe.  But we must breathe and we must go on and we must function.  Somehow we do.  God is faithful that way as he enables us to go forward in His strength.

And then Gary and I have Aaron.  Good old blunt Aaron.  Not just blunt, either...........but verbalizing this whole goodbye process as he tries to come to grips with the fact that his sister has moved so far away.  Distance is relative to Aaron.  He can't touch it or see it, so it's hard for him to grasp.  When Andrea lived an hour away, he was used to her coming home on Saturdays and spending the night.  Still he would often ask, "Mom, is Andrea coming over on Saturday?"

The other day, after we had returned from taking her to Texas, Aaron asked his familiar question.  "Mom, is Andrea coming over on Saturday?"

No, Aaron.  She isn't coming over on Saturday.

"On Friday is Andrea coming?"

No, not on Friday, either.

He persisted.  "But can't there be any other days that she can visit?"

I reminded him of the map we had examined and that her new home is now too far away for many visits.

And the final reality.  "No more coming to visit?  Is that it?"

Oh Aaron.  I managed to keep from crying and I assured him that we would see her.............just not as often...........and he walked away with not another word, trying to absorb this new part of his life.

I can't wait for his first Skype experience with his sister..........to see and hear how he'll react.  Knowing Aaron, he'll just laugh uncomfortably and then launch into the kinds of things he launched into at breakfast with Gary and I.   It'll be all about him and his interests, but that's what we expect and that's what makes us laugh.  As he told me this morning, "Mom, I was watching a Looney Tunes video last night before bed and I was laughing so hard my eyes became watery!"

I know, Aaron.  My eyes are watery lately, too!  And it's not always because I'm laughing, but it's OK.  I'm breathing and I'm thankful for all of my children............and I'm very much looking forward to the next time that they can come over for a visit!!

Reese Cups and See You Later

This past weekend found us moving Andrea out of her apartment an hour from here as we prepared to take her down to Texas to begin her new life as a graduate student.  Andrew got home late Friday night and on Saturday, with the help of wonderful friends, we got the U-Haul loaded and ready for the trip to Texas on Sunday.  I was dreading all the "lasts" that accompany a time like this and was trying hard not to dwell on them.  Saturday's supper around our table was one of those "lasts" that I was going to be facing and I was praying that I would stay composed and not get emotional.  I should have known that having Aaron eat with us was the answer I needed.  Oh, he can raise our emotions for sure...............just not the kind that I was dreading.  Thankfully, on this "last supper for a long time" together, Aaron had us laughing.  He had no idea what a relief he brought to us that night!

As always, he talked and talked and talked some more to us, his captive audience.  He does know how to seize the moment when we are all together and then monopolize the conversation.  I don't remember all that he talked about.............we never do.............and there are times that we try to forget what he said, trust me.  He was very excited about the fact that we were leaving because that meant that Krysten was coming to stay with him.............and that meant eating out and getting pizza and renting movies and having one-on-one time and attention that perfectly suits his "it's all about me" mind set.  He was looking forward to a break from old Mom and Dad.  Little did he know how much we were looking forward to a break from old Aaron, too!  Ha!

As always, he talked about his latest movie that he's watching and Handy Answer Religion Book that he's reading.  He talked about the dog and the weather and what he's done lately at his day group.  Talking about his day group, Paradigm, reminded him that Brandy, Paradigm's owner, apparently had some of her family visit...........except that Aaron didn't refer to these people as Brandy's family.

"Hey!  Yesterday some of Brandy's ancestors came to Paradigm."

We knew right away what Aaron meant.  He continued, "I think they were 5."

Hmmm..........pretty young ancestors she has.

"So why did she bring her ancestors to Paradigm?  I don't get why she had her ancestors there."

So we discussed Brandy's ancestors coming to Paradigm and how they are actually called relatives and why they might have been there...............and all the while, Aaron kept calling them ancestors.  And he always will.

I had fixed Lasagna for supper, so as Aaron talked we watched him meticulously separate the meat from the cheese.  This was quite a process as Aaron hunched over his plate and scraped and separated, never missing a chance to talk in the midst of this serious food re-arrangement.  Then suddenly he remembered it............a billboard he had seen while driving with his group.

"Mom!  I saw a sign!  You know, one of those big signs on the road."

Yes, Aaron............a billboard.

"Yeah, a billboard!  You know what it said?"

He paused for us to answer...........for us to tell him that we did not know what it said.  He loves this part.

"It said - cornstalk powder for butts!!"

Cornstalk powder for butts?  So now we were all cramming the lasagna in our mouths in an effort to keep from bursting out laughing, as I told Aaron that I bet this was actually cornSTARCH powder.

"Yeah!  Cornstalk powder!  And it's for butts!  What's that for?!"

So we had a discussion at this our "last supper together for awhile" about cornstalk powder which is really cornSTARCH powder and why it's good for baby's butts.  This is a place I didn't expect to be during this meal, but I have to say that it did keep my mind off the fact that Andrea was leaving.  And instead of holding back the tears, we were holding back the laughter.

Thank you, Aaron.  You do have a way of diverting us from the reality at hand.  Do you ever!  But finally the subject of Andrea's soon departure did arise.  Aaron came to attention and we wondered what he was getting ready to say.

"Andrea!  Look what I bought the other day!"  He got up from the table, went into the kitchen, and came back carrying the three............yes, THREE..........bags of Reese Cups that he had bought at Wal-Mart.

And he said, "Here.  You can have this to take to Texas."  He handed her a bag of unopened Reese cups.  Normally she would not want them, but she saw his heart and his real message of love.  She accepted the Reese cups and thanked him warmly.............and he was very pleased.

The next morning she went up to his room before we left.  He was sitting at his computer and she gave him a hug and said goodbye.  He just mumbled an unconcerned "OK" and "See you later" and kept playing his game.  She smiled when she came downstairs.  We know and understand Aaron so well.  Anything BUT the mumbled response would have been very surprising.

But there in her little apartment in Texas, as we helped her unpack on Monday, lay that bag of Reese cups.  There lay tangible proof of Aaron's love, each piece tightly wrapped, waiting to be opened and enjoyed.  Just like our Aaron..............opening himself in his Aaron way for us to see his heart.

See you later, Andrea!  Enjoy the Reese cups!

This Side of My Desk

In a few days we will move our daughter, Andrea, down to Fort Worth so she can begin graduate school.  Aaron is very attached to Andrea and sees her more as a mother figure than a sister.  She's lived an hour away for the past 6 months, and every weekend Aaron asks if Andrea is "coming over to see us."  He knows that she is moving to Texas, and has once again asked if she will "come over to see us" when she moves.  I've told him that she won't be able to come over as often now.  He hasn't acted upset at this outwardly, but has been quiet when I've told him that fact.  He's processing all of this, as he always does.

One of the first facts that he processed involved the state of Texas itself.  Aaron loves maps and flags and always wants to know where places are located geographically.  One day as he talked about Andrea's move to Texas, he said, "So Texas is underneath Kansas.  It's the place of cowboys!"

More or less, Aaron, on both counts.

A couple weeks ago, when Andrea had "come over", we were eating supper and suddenly Aaron looked at Andrea and said, "Andrea, I can give you a movie to take down there."    Aaron has quite a collection of DVDs and he loves them, so this was a very generous offer..............or so we thought.  Until he added:

"You can get it from the shelf on this side of my desk." -  as he made a hand motion indicating which side he was talking about.   "Those are the ones I don't like."

Um..........well...........thanks, Aaron.

One thing you can always count on is that Aaron will be honest..........totally, unashamedly honest.

Aaron was quite pleased with himself and didn't know why on earth we were laughing.  Later, when Andrea went up to his room, she teasingly asked him if she could take some DVDs from the other side of his desk..........from the large bookshelf full of DVDs that he DOES like.............and that he did not offer to her.  He thought for a few seconds and then told her that, yes, she could take some from that shelf.  And added, "You tell me which ones I don't like."  Huh?

Dear honest Aaron.  As is so often the case, we have to sort through what he says or does and still see his heart.  He does love Andrea and to him he was showing that love.

But only on THIS side of his desk!!